Big Feet, Small Mouth

Big Feet, Small Mouth

I have big feet, depending on what brand of shoe I buy it can range from a size 13 Converse or a size 16 Nike. If I choose to sport around in a pair of Addidas chances are they’ll be size 14. I have big feet, most times I don’t even notice until I stub my toe on a dresser or slip on a stair, often I don’t mind my colossus sized walking tools, until I have to buy shoes that is… had I an extra inch I’d have to travel to a far and southern land to purchase that which covers my feet, Toronto. My mouth isn’t that big, I’m very good with secrets and I barely gossip. When my wisdom teeth came in I barely had enough room in my small but proportionately sized head to house them. Lucky for me my extra pearly whites did not require extraction… as of yet. Why am I talking about the size of my feet and how small my mouth is? It’s not to brag I assure you. I say all this to emphasize how much it hurts when I put my foot in my mouth… which seems to be a common occurrence these days. So how do you fit a size 15 shoe in a tiny mouth that happens to be approximately six feet away? It ain’t easy but I do it like a pro… and where does it get me? Well, more often then not it gets me nowhere. It’s hard to walk up to somebody and apologize with a foot in your mouth… especially with one that is as big as mine. No need to send in the clowns folks for I am already here. I do after all match the description fairly well. Big shoes… check! Wardrobe filled with bright fabrics… check! The ability to be loved by so many while simultaneously being off putting to the ones you actually care about… check… with a capitol C, or with a big check mark sign. I’d write one here but I don’t know how… so use your imagination…. Right… here! So yes I can put my foot in my mouth and make a fool of myself and alienate the ones… or the one I care about, but… it could be worse… I could have a size 17 shoe. Then I would be in real hot water